Genesis 30

Leah and Rachel, in their jealousy of each other, start off a baby war, to the point of dragging their servants into it. In verse 1, Rachel even says to Jacob, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Rather histrionic--plus, Rachel doesn't seem to understand the biology of conception. After all, Jacob conceived kids with Leah just fine, so the problem's not on his end.

Perhaps it's wrong to look at this from a modern, scientific viewpoint; I'm sure that, if humankind still exists thousands of years from now, they'll guffaw at our ignorance. "How could they have been so uncertain about quantum mechanics and cosmology? Even my kid understands the explanation for dark matter!" I mean, both Leah and Rachel still believe that mandrakes will magically get them pregnant. I love the pickup line Leah uses on Jacob in verse 16 to get him to sleep with her:

"I have hired you with my son's mandrakes."

Well, there's no way any red-blooded guy is going to say no to that titillating little line.

I won't ever find myself in the situation of having two wives (especially as I'm never going to convert to Mormonism), but I think we've all felt tinges of jealousy toward others. With the dissemination of social media, now we're even more exposed to the carefully crafted highlights of our friends' lives. Sure, Leah had more kids, but Rachel was the one who received more love from her husband. Or: Sure, Rachel received more love from her husband, but Leah had more kids. It's so easy now to forget or brush aside our blessings, triumphs, and moments of elation and instead wallow in our misfortunes, failures, and seasons of despondency. The nadirs of our lives will never match up to the acmes of others' lives, but many of us insist on making such comparisons.

Before Jacob decides to up sticks, Laban attempts to take advantage of him yet again. When Jacob asks for the speckled sheep and goats from Laban's flock, Laban dutifully agrees before surreptitiously removing said speckled animals. However, Jacob gets the last laugh by holding branches in front of the stronger animals when they're "in heat" (verse 41) so their offspring become speckled. That's not quite how things work in scientific terms; if I hold up a purple piece of paper in front of a couple getting busy, their baby won't come out with purple skin. God clearly had a hand in this.

Now and again, I do admit to going through elaborate contrivances as Laban did in order to get my way. Often, God says, "Oh yeah?" and arranges matters so that I end up having to face what I tried so hard to avoid. And you know what? Most of the time, it's not as bad as I thought. And even when it is that bad, I know God is building my character. Who knew that Calvin's dad could be right about something?