Genesis 23

When Sarah dies, Abraham dutifully looks for a place in Canaan to bury her. On the surface, his interaction with the Hittites to buy a suitable plot of burial ground seems rather, well, Japanese. The Hittites basically say, "You can bury your wife in the best of our tombs for free, your royal Highness. Oh, you want your own cave? No problem; in fact, we're so generous that we'll let you have the adjoining field as well. You insist on paying? Well, it's worth 400 shekels of silver, if you must know."

Of course, as the NIV Study Bible notes, the Hittites are, under a cloak of sycophancy, actually hornswoggling Abraham in his time of grief. All Abraham wants is a lousy cave--what's important is that it's in Canaan, where God promised Abraham's people would live--but they make him buy the whole field, overcharging him to boot.

At this point in my life, I've been lucky enough not to have had anyone take advantage of me in a time of bereavement, so I'm afraid I can't offer any musings along those lines. But I do wonder if it's "better" to be blunt about your dishonorable intentions. Of course, it's best not to act dishonorably at all, but adding that veneer of fawning verbosity adds the additional layer of deceit.

I'm guessing that Abraham knew that the Hittites were snookering him, yet he still acted respectful and truly deferential. I'm not going to reveal the details of my work, but I've definitely had to deal with people who try to take advantage of our policies. While I don't treat such people rudely, I admit that I wish I could sometimes stick a sarcastic little barb in somewhere. Even though I don't actually follow through, such thoughts betray my own selfish mindset. I think I've learned how to respond firmly enough to prevent transforming into a doormat--after all, policies exist for a reason. And yet God knows all my thoughts--the good, the bad, and the bizarre.

But Abraham didn't just have to deal with a bunch of hagglers. He had to do so just after the death of his wife. If I had been in Abraham's shoes, I'd have thought, "The love of my life just died. I just cannot handle any of your insensitive BS right now." I admire Abraham's forbearance and pray that, when the inevitable comes and someone I love passes away, I will allow God to instill within me the same grace and respect for any inconsiderate individuals I may come across. Of course, I pray for those qualities anyway, but I suspect I will need them in even greater quantities when bereaving the loss of a loved one. That's a rather doleful note to end on, but…well, it's a doleful note to end on.