Leviticus 14

Learning a new process, especially if it involves many interconnected steps, can seem daunting at first. Driving a car, using a computer, writing markup language for a website, and cooking without using the microwave all require individual steps that must be done in a certain order. Through practice, though, these tasks eventually become second nature. To get didactic for just a moment, that's why schools assign homework--very few of us can master mathematical and scientific concepts or writing and critical thinking skills by just reading about them or watching somebody else do them.

To cleanse themselves from defiling skin diseases, the Israelites had to go through quite a convoluted process with some very specific stipulations--for example, the diseased fellow must bring two clean birds, one of which is killed "over fresh water in a clay pot" (verse 5). The other bird then gets to enjoy the pleasure of being dipped in its late companion's blood before being released. Imagine the scene when the bird gets back to its nest: "Honey, what's that red stuff all over your crest?" "Oh, nothing, sweetheart. It's just the blood of Tweety, who, by the way, will no longer be joining us on our weekly skylarking excursions."

Perhaps the most superficially dismaying stipulation is that the diseased person must shave off his or her eyebrows (verse 9). Those suckers take a long time to grow back; nowadays, we most often hear of people losing their eyebrows involuntarily when they get a little too frisky with the lighter fluid. I know the Japanese women used to pluck their eyebrows, but they painted fake ones on top as a substitute. That makes about as much sense as Human Tetris or any of those other game shows my cultural brethren manage to concoct.

I get the general idea that sicknesses is the result of humankind's sinful nature, so it makes sense that diseases would make one unclean both physically and spiritually. However, just because one gets sick more often or contracts a terminal disease does not mean that one is more sinful. Life on Earth may not be fair, but then again, neither was Jesus' sacrifice. (I know that uses some sort of logical fallacy, but screw it.)