1 Samuel 5

I know I've mentioned Raiders of the Lost Ark before, but it's such a stellar movie that my mind just can't help jumping to it whenever I think of the ark of the covenant. Anyway, according to Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Lawrence Kasdan, if the ark is pissed off at you, it will [spoiler alert] send bolts of light through your midsection, suck out the innards from your head, melt your face off, or make your head explode [end of spoilers]. (And yes, this movie is rated PG. So if your child could handle Frozen, she'll love Raiders of the Lost Ark!) Nothing quite so visually spectacular happens in the Bible, at least not anything that was recorded. Instead, we get tumors (verses 6, 9) and an idol falling down flat on its face and shattering its extremities (verse 4).

I don't know about you, but when I hear the word "idol," I think of J-pop and K-pop idols, i.e., normal looking young men and women who decide to undergo plastic surgery, wear strata of makeup that would make Yosemite's El Capitan blush, and forgo consuming anything resembling food--all so that they can spaz around a stage while wearing extravagant items that might, in some other dimension, pass as clothing. And if that's not enough, they also enjoy the distinct pleasure of having their faces displayed in tiny boxes in the corner of a TV screen as they pretend to react to whatever the harebrained TV host is doing at that moment. But the point is that many people (mostly Asians, because Asians are weird--I would know; I'm one myself) obsess over these idols, look up to them, and maybe even worship them. (Hey, I like some idols too. They make me laugh.)

It all seems rather silly, and I suspect many K-pop or J-pop groupies know this. But I sometimes ask myself why I'm not as passionate for God as I am about my other pastimes. And these pastimes, just like the idols, are not beyond reproach. Lest we forget all the chicanery that goes into the manufacture of an idol....

Of course, no matter what one thinks of Asian "idols," no one wants to see one of them shatter his or her extremities. But seeing an idol fall flat on his or her face? Well, that would be no more or less silly--or entertaining--than the typical behavior of such illustrious personages.