Numbers 8

If you've ever perused an issue of Consumer Reports, you know that the best section is always the last page, where the editors display a variety of silly product labels or advertisements. Some of them are just stupid, and some of them you can tell that the artist had a little too much fun. For example, I remember this one was on an electric generator at my elementary school; of course, the generator abutted the kindergarten playground. No better way of scaring/enthralling little tykes like a picture of an angry electricity monster with a mouth shaped like a lightning bolt.

But you can tell that many ridiculous product labels were the result of overzealous lawsuits from dimwits and potential Darwin Award recipients. "Do not iron while wearing shirt." "Do not clean ears with power drill." On an egg carton: "Allergy information: Contains eggs." On a thermometer: "Do not use orally after using rectally." God's instructions to Aaron regarding the lamps in chapter 8 aren't quite so ridiculous, but they still have a "Captain Obvious" quality about them: "When you set up the lamps, see that all seven light up the area in front of the lampstand" (verse 2). No s***. What else are they supposed to light? The priests' nose hairs? However, knowing humans, God probably knew that there was the possibility of them screwing it up.

The balance of the chapter concerns additional regulations for the Levites and a reinforcement of the value God places on the firstborn. Much of it repeats what's been said before, but what stood out to me this time was the ages at which the Levites were supposed to work: between the ages of 25 and 50 (verses 24-25). I would be thrilled if I only had to work from 25 to 50, or even 18 and 65, but what with inflation and where Social Security is headed, I'm probably going to have to work longer than that in order to provide for myself until I die. Maybe if one has the skills and predilection for STEM jobs, one can get away with retiring early, but math (along with physical brawn and social skills) is my downfall.

However, life expectancy during Moses's times had gone way down from the times when we had 900-year-olds ambling around, so 50 was probably nearer to the end of one's life. Doing this holy work, serving as the bridge between God and the Israelites, was an indubitably high honor. Priests still exist today (duh), but with Jesus' sacrifice, now we all can be conduits of God's grace and power. And that's a privilege that we should be rapturous to effectuate for our whole lives.