Numbers 14

Do you remember the classic story about the quarreling couple who got three wishes? The husband, being a hungry Homer Simpson kind of guy, wished for a sausage. The wife, justifiably exasperated that her imbecilic spouse could waste a wish, retorted in a pique of anger by wishing for the sausage to be attached to her hapless husband's nose. Of course, that leaves them one wish left, and the only thing left to do is wish for the husband's honker to go back to normal. A profusion of other "Be careful what you wish for" stories exist, one of the most amusing and witty being Edith Nesbit's classic Five Children and It, and the Israelites certainly did their part in adding to (or indeed originating) this venerated mythos.

I would understand if the Israelites had just been worried about the scouts' reports of Wilt Chamberlin-sized men in Canaan, but the crybabies actually "wept aloud" (verse 1)! Immediately after, they carp, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or this wilderness!" (verse 2). Such a statement is truly worthy of a Picard facepalm because anyone with half a brain knows just how God is going to respond. Sure enough, everyone over 20 years old will perish during 40 years of wandering in the wilderness. You can almost picture God crossing His arms, saying, "Well, that's what you wished for, isn't it?"

Although Moses bargains with God (as Abraham did regarding Sodom and Gomorrah), this whole incident shows that God, though merciful and forgiving, does have a tipping point. Were the Israelites' grumbling and the scouts' hyperbole really any worse than, say, the creation of the golden calf? It's not up to us to determine what should or shouldn't send God over the edge, but I would surmise that God renders harsh judgment when people take advantage of His grace, as the Israelites have done here. As I've mentioned before, they've witnessed phenomena from the hand of God such as the provision of manna, the death of the firstborn Egyptians, the parting of a waterway, and a plague of overly prolific Kermits running about--and still they doubt God's authority!

In a classic bit of hubris, the Israelites decide to set out for the Promised Land anyway, earning themselves a sound thrashing as they get their butts kicked "all the way to Hormah" (verse 45). I don't know how far that is, and the Bible maps I'm finding online aren't helping, but I keep imagining them having to retreat a distance equivalent to the length between San Francisco to L.A. But of course the Israelites suddenly acquire a sense of blustering bravado once God tells them off. Where was all that boldness when the scouts had given their unfavorable report in the first place? However, I do admit that I sometimes feel a sense of misguided audacity when I think I can fix a situation that I screwed up in the first place. I pray that I can allow God to allow my will with His so I don't take advantage of His grace or act truculently when He shows me what I've done wrong. Because who wants to wander for 40 years in the desert until they die?