Deuteronomy 20

Every movie with a big battle scene worth its salt also has some kind of inspiring speech intended to rally the troops to glorious victory: Henry V, Patton, Braveheart, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Glory--heck, even the speech in Independence Day can stir the loins, though much of its rousing quality stems from David Arnold's magniloquent music.

But one of my favorite "rallying the troops" speeches is from Brad Bird's Ratatouille. A character, one Alfredo Linguini, is trying to inspire the kitchen staff of a restaurant as they prepare to cook a dish for the most formidable, influential food critic in France: Anton Ego. Linguini's speech goes like this: "Tonight is a big night. Appetite is coming and he's going to have a big ego. I mean Ego. He's coming. The critic? And he's going to order. Something. Something from our menu. And we'll have to cook it. Unless he orders something cold. Like a salad." Of course, he completely deflates the kitchen staff, leading another chef, Colette, to deliver the succinct but effective line, "Anton Ego is just another customer. Let's cook!"

The speech that Moses and God offer as the rallying cry for the Israelite troops is also concise--a mere two verses long--but no less powerful (verses 3-4). Notably, it's not the general who's supposed to give this speech, but the priest. Which does make sense--as the spiritual leader of the nation, the priest is responsible for the most important aspect of people's lives. Furthermore, having the priest deliver the speech reminds the Israelites that their strength and vitality in battle comes from God.

Moses and God also allow provisions for those who would be inconvenienced in some way by fighting. (Yes, I know fighting in general is far from convenient, but I think verses 5-9 make the point pretty clear.) The Israelites even allow those who are "afraid and disheartened" to go home as well so that they won't lower the morale of the rest of the troops (verse 8). I suppose Israel can afford to do this because they're not fighting for survival and thus do not require every able-bodied man to fight. Israel is a conquering force, propelled by the power of God to overtake the Promised Land. With God's power directly behind them, Israel can vanquish their enemies using just those willing to fight.

Moses's nugget pops up at the end of the chapter in verses 19-20: When the Israelites attack the city, they can only chop down trees that bear fruit. Although this command is very utilitarian, it also means that it would suck to be a tree that just happens to not bear fruit that humans like to eat. Instead of living and bearing fruit, you'd be demoted to having your trunk and branches chopped up and used for siege engines. But I suppose it's better than having your trunk and branches processed into pulp and then made into paper for a Twilight book.