Exodus 8

This chapter describes three plagues in quick succession, all having to do with some of the most beloved animals on our planet: frogs, gnats, and flies. OK, frogs aren't bad as long as you don't have hundreds crawling over you--and I daresay that most folks wouldn't be happy if they had hundreds of chinchillas wriggling over them 24/7. Or Tribbles. (Please pardon the distracting, grammatically incorrect text overlay.)

If the plague of frogs had happened right after the Nile turning to blood, it would make scientific sense. After all, what amphibious creature is going to loiter around in blood, unless it's a vampire? The fish, to their dismay, are stuck, but the frogs are free to hop out and find new digs. However, as the end of the last chapter states, the frogs come seven days after the Nile turns to blood. So maybe God told the frogs to hang out on the banks of the river for a few days before directing them to pester those bald men and wax-cone-wearing women. But if the frogs were swarming over the land, I don't get how Pharaoh was convinced that his "magicians" could replicate the trick. There are already all these frogs, so how does he know that any frogs his magicians "create" aren't the ones sent by God?

The magicians can't reproduce the next plague, when God turns dust into gnats. If indeed every speck of dust in Egypt did turn into a gnat, how horrible would that have been? (Also, that may have been why the magicians failed, because there was no more dust left to turn into gnats.)  Think of him much dust is in, say, your average city or suburb. Well, Egypt is in the middle of a desert, so imagine every grain of sand suddenly turning into a speck of misery. At this point, even the magicians acknowledge God's sovereign power, but Pharaoh proves as stubborn as ever.

Next come the flies, probably thrilled to be able to buzz around all the frog carcasses. I don't know what would be worse, innumerable gnats or innumerable flies, but the flies were probably a whole lot louder and more difficult to squash because of their annoying tendency to fly away just before you hit them. Though with so many, I suppose you're bound to kill some of you swing indiscriminately. The Egyptians really could have used the inimitable talents of Ralph Macchio here.

What's different about Pharaoh's response to this plague is that he tells Moses and Aaron that they can make sacrifices to God--but only while they're in Egypt. Even now, Pharaoh tries to weasel his way into getting the Israelites to stay while not having to suffer the indignities of the plagues. And what's more, he makes a promise that he promptly breaks. I don't mean to cast aspersions on the Pharaoh too much (though he's still definitely a rather distasteful fellow), because I ask God to improve my character without wanting to go through the arduous and even unpleasant trials that true growth in Him requires. And I definitely don't want God to surround me with flies and gnats in order to force me to pay attention to Him.